I’m nowhere near an expert on these things and am not popular by any means but I have definitely felt the pressure of needing to buy more things to be more interesting online. Things like buying a whole new dress for a themed event, or just being attracted to the rush of excitement something new and shiny brought to me…even though it really wasn’t a good fit for my wardrobe; these have definitely been things I've done in the past and am trying to get better about!
One of the things I’ve tried to do recently in my quest to be a little more sustainable and conscious of my spending is to be really active in curating my social media feed. I still follow friends and members of the lolita community on social media and even lolita brands instagrams’ and youtubes’ that I’m interested in; but I also add in other content creators that focus on using what you have, anti-hauls, and eco-minimalism, and slow fashion (a list of some of my favorites is available at the end of the post). This way I can remind myself to look at the pretty images of things I like and enjoy them but also have a reminder to think critically why I’m not buying every single new release that catches my eye. To slow down and think of my current overstuffed wardrobe and how a new piece would actually fit into the cohesive whole and if I would wear it and feel happy/good in it rather than just be excited about the rush of “Look how cute and new it is!”. Also, I’ve been around awhile and unless it’s a very rare made to order only release or not from one of the big brands…there are probably dozens of the same dress out there if not more. And several brands have even re-relased popular items many years later. Eventually there will be some new item that everyone’s salivating over and a year or two later, if you still want the item and it’s still on your mind, it will probably be available second hand somewhere for less than retail as other people try to chase the newest thing and need money/space to add to their wardrobes! There’s also a certain satisfaction that comes from hunting down a specific piece for a good price to finally finally have that thing you wanted and took the time to find!
I also try to think of myself as pretty good about knowing what I like and only buying that- but I’m definitely influenced by content I consume online. An example for me was when I started watching a lot of make-up youtubers a few years back, there was always a new product to test out, a new thing that you ‘had to have’ that was ‘so amazing’ . I realized this and stopped watching people that did a lot of hauls and started instead watching project panners- people who use the same product for a month or year to see how much progress they can make. I then tried a small project pan myself and was quite successful! I do know my style pretty well now so the temptation is much less anything and everything new but the new things seem to cater exactly to my tastes. For example I never ended up buying something like a rainbow palette that was the newest must have item …but I bought sooo many neutral eyeshadow palettes thinking: “Oh I can use this everyday, it’s a fine purchase”. Have you ever tried to use up an entire eyeshadow? It takes forever! With this challenge of wearing everything I own in a year I hope to direct some of that “new outfit” excitement to things I already own just like a project pan keep that energy going even past the challenge!
Another facet of curbing my spending and appreciating what I’ve got going with my wardrobe is that I've pretty much got a handle on what I like generally and the look I want to achieve even when it's very different is the popular thing at the moment. I’ve been fortunate in my lolita journey to have a close friend who mostly has a wildly different wardrobe and taste than me. My wardrobe is very Angelic Pretty and BtSSB sweet/sweet-casual- full of black x pink, grey and navy colorways. Contrast that to hers which leans heavily AatP and classic lolita- lots of earthy browns and creams, black x red, black x purple. Even when she does end up buying sweet things often they are very different to the type I have. Having someone like this close to me, especially in the beginning when just about everything was new and exciting, helped me get a mindset of being able to appreciate the things I didn’t like for myself on other real people who still looked awesome. Being able to genuinely say “That looks so cute/cool! I don’t want it but I can’t wait to see it on you!” has been a real skill I’m glad I was able to cultivate! I try to really examine any new trends or popular items as they pop up to see if I like them or if someone else just makes them look super cute. A new trend that you need to buy the latest thing for is great for mixing up a fashion that can sometimes feel very rigid in its’ ‘rules’! But will it actually fit into your personal style and even when the trend dies will you want to keep wearing it for years down the line?
Honestly another thing that has helped me curb spending is that I do have so many things already as I've had ~15 years of collecting behind me and a shift in focus of where I want my money to go. I've bought most of my dream items, I have lots of basics to make coords with, and new stuff rarely catches my eye enough to want to spend retail price on it. There are a few exceptions of course- recently Angelic Pretty re-released Candy POP so I bought the OP, in 2021 I bought Kumya's Love Heart Embroidery, and in 2020 I bought Devil Cat and the Hourglass of ending skirt, Rumble Fish and the Phantom Crystal Palace (on sale), Neon Star Diner, and Kitten and Tulips. (I've actually already sold Kitten and Tulips!) I'm also trying to shift my focus to actually investing in the future: vacation experiences, retirement, and maybe even the slightly less than impossible dream of owning a home. Even though those things are far away now I do have concrete numbers goals I want to hit with each thing and it helps keep me on track better. Do I want this dress now or do I want to put that same $350 towards an investment account? Boring, but currently my thought process!
I don’t want to never buy things again or stop trying to be a little creative in my outfits with a few strategic new purchases; I do want to make sure that an item that I buy is something that I truly want and appreciate and will make me feel good to own and wear for years and years if possible-not just something that I saw a bunch of times looking cute on others making me want to buy it.
If you are looking for some creators to intersperse with lolita content, these are some that I find inspiring for slowing your roll on consumerism, finding your own style so FOMO is lessened, and an emphasis on using and/or repairing what you have.
Instagram:
@ajabarber (also has a book “Consumed:The Need for Collective Change: Colonialism, Climate Change, and Consumerism” which I have and would recommend)
@theslowfactory (information about the connection of the fashion industry on climate change, garment worker rights, and more)
Youtube:
@thestichess (great videos on curating a personal wardrobe over time, repairing and fixing clothes you already have to suit your needs better)
@LaurenMaeBeauty (Makeup youtuber with a lot of content on shopping your stash, creating pallets inspired by current trends with what you already have)
@BernadetteBanner (Historical fashion sewing content, how did people clothing in history before fast fashion, antique vibes)
@KimberlyClark (The original creator of the anti-haul)
@Shelbizzleee (Mainly sustainability/eco-minimalism and more everyday non-alt-fashion lifestyle content)
@thefinancialdiet (Finances for Millennials and non-finance people general, often hits on consumer habits, avoiding being marketed to, budgeting)
Podcasts (all available on Spotify, unsure about other platforms)
Sustainably Influenced (Last season mostly about fashion but past episodes focus more on influencer culture)
Conscious Chatter (Almost all about sustainable clothing/conscious clothing consuming)
How to Save a Planet (not about clothes but the climate crisis in general, pretty hopeful overall but still deals with some big sad/scary topics)
One of the things I’ve tried to do recently in my quest to be a little more sustainable and conscious of my spending is to be really active in curating my social media feed. I still follow friends and members of the lolita community on social media and even lolita brands instagrams’ and youtubes’ that I’m interested in; but I also add in other content creators that focus on using what you have, anti-hauls, and eco-minimalism, and slow fashion (a list of some of my favorites is available at the end of the post). This way I can remind myself to look at the pretty images of things I like and enjoy them but also have a reminder to think critically why I’m not buying every single new release that catches my eye. To slow down and think of my current overstuffed wardrobe and how a new piece would actually fit into the cohesive whole and if I would wear it and feel happy/good in it rather than just be excited about the rush of “Look how cute and new it is!”. Also, I’ve been around awhile and unless it’s a very rare made to order only release or not from one of the big brands…there are probably dozens of the same dress out there if not more. And several brands have even re-relased popular items many years later. Eventually there will be some new item that everyone’s salivating over and a year or two later, if you still want the item and it’s still on your mind, it will probably be available second hand somewhere for less than retail as other people try to chase the newest thing and need money/space to add to their wardrobes! There’s also a certain satisfaction that comes from hunting down a specific piece for a good price to finally finally have that thing you wanted and took the time to find!
I also try to think of myself as pretty good about knowing what I like and only buying that- but I’m definitely influenced by content I consume online. An example for me was when I started watching a lot of make-up youtubers a few years back, there was always a new product to test out, a new thing that you ‘had to have’ that was ‘so amazing’ . I realized this and stopped watching people that did a lot of hauls and started instead watching project panners- people who use the same product for a month or year to see how much progress they can make. I then tried a small project pan myself and was quite successful! I do know my style pretty well now so the temptation is much less anything and everything new but the new things seem to cater exactly to my tastes. For example I never ended up buying something like a rainbow palette that was the newest must have item …but I bought sooo many neutral eyeshadow palettes thinking: “Oh I can use this everyday, it’s a fine purchase”. Have you ever tried to use up an entire eyeshadow? It takes forever! With this challenge of wearing everything I own in a year I hope to direct some of that “new outfit” excitement to things I already own just like a project pan keep that energy going even past the challenge!
Another facet of curbing my spending and appreciating what I’ve got going with my wardrobe is that I've pretty much got a handle on what I like generally and the look I want to achieve even when it's very different is the popular thing at the moment. I’ve been fortunate in my lolita journey to have a close friend who mostly has a wildly different wardrobe and taste than me. My wardrobe is very Angelic Pretty and BtSSB sweet/sweet-casual- full of black x pink, grey and navy colorways. Contrast that to hers which leans heavily AatP and classic lolita- lots of earthy browns and creams, black x red, black x purple. Even when she does end up buying sweet things often they are very different to the type I have. Having someone like this close to me, especially in the beginning when just about everything was new and exciting, helped me get a mindset of being able to appreciate the things I didn’t like for myself on other real people who still looked awesome. Being able to genuinely say “That looks so cute/cool! I don’t want it but I can’t wait to see it on you!” has been a real skill I’m glad I was able to cultivate! I try to really examine any new trends or popular items as they pop up to see if I like them or if someone else just makes them look super cute. A new trend that you need to buy the latest thing for is great for mixing up a fashion that can sometimes feel very rigid in its’ ‘rules’! But will it actually fit into your personal style and even when the trend dies will you want to keep wearing it for years down the line?
Honestly another thing that has helped me curb spending is that I do have so many things already as I've had ~15 years of collecting behind me and a shift in focus of where I want my money to go. I've bought most of my dream items, I have lots of basics to make coords with, and new stuff rarely catches my eye enough to want to spend retail price on it. There are a few exceptions of course- recently Angelic Pretty re-released Candy POP so I bought the OP, in 2021 I bought Kumya's Love Heart Embroidery, and in 2020 I bought Devil Cat and the Hourglass of ending skirt, Rumble Fish and the Phantom Crystal Palace (on sale), Neon Star Diner, and Kitten and Tulips. (I've actually already sold Kitten and Tulips!) I'm also trying to shift my focus to actually investing in the future: vacation experiences, retirement, and maybe even the slightly less than impossible dream of owning a home. Even though those things are far away now I do have concrete numbers goals I want to hit with each thing and it helps keep me on track better. Do I want this dress now or do I want to put that same $350 towards an investment account? Boring, but currently my thought process!
I don’t want to never buy things again or stop trying to be a little creative in my outfits with a few strategic new purchases; I do want to make sure that an item that I buy is something that I truly want and appreciate and will make me feel good to own and wear for years and years if possible-not just something that I saw a bunch of times looking cute on others making me want to buy it.
If you are looking for some creators to intersperse with lolita content, these are some that I find inspiring for slowing your roll on consumerism, finding your own style so FOMO is lessened, and an emphasis on using and/or repairing what you have.
Instagram:
@ajabarber (also has a book “Consumed:The Need for Collective Change: Colonialism, Climate Change, and Consumerism” which I have and would recommend)
@theslowfactory (information about the connection of the fashion industry on climate change, garment worker rights, and more)
Youtube:
@thestichess (great videos on curating a personal wardrobe over time, repairing and fixing clothes you already have to suit your needs better)
@LaurenMaeBeauty (Makeup youtuber with a lot of content on shopping your stash, creating pallets inspired by current trends with what you already have)
@BernadetteBanner (Historical fashion sewing content, how did people clothing in history before fast fashion, antique vibes)
@KimberlyClark (The original creator of the anti-haul)
@Shelbizzleee (Mainly sustainability/eco-minimalism and more everyday non-alt-fashion lifestyle content)
@thefinancialdiet (Finances for Millennials and non-finance people general, often hits on consumer habits, avoiding being marketed to, budgeting)
Podcasts (all available on Spotify, unsure about other platforms)
Sustainably Influenced (Last season mostly about fashion but past episodes focus more on influencer culture)
Conscious Chatter (Almost all about sustainable clothing/conscious clothing consuming)
How to Save a Planet (not about clothes but the climate crisis in general, pretty hopeful overall but still deals with some big sad/scary topics)
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